Let's start off with the exciting news... I am getting married! Woo hoo! I can truly say that I have met my soul mate, and I am ecstatic to have her as my wife.
Now for the challenges...
Firstly not all wedding fairs, guests, and wedding booking people are particularly same-sex marriage friendly, and secondly, hardly any of the events, marriage packages and dress shops are tailored to someone in a wheelchair.
Let's talk about our first wedding fair...
We were advised to attend some wedding fairs to give us some ideas, and inspiration for our wedding. To be honest, I was mainly in it for the free cake (or at least that's what I thought there would be).
We both booked our first wedding event at Canterbury Cricket Club. I was assured it was fully accessible. I was excited, as was Ruth (my wife-to-be). We arrived in a taxi as it was a bit of a walk from Canterbury East Station when we didn't really know where we were going. It was a rough start... the taxi turned up late!
As we pulled up at the Cricket Club, the driver seemed clueless about where to drop us. We told him to drive in. Thankfully someone came out to show our confused faces where to go. We got the wheelchair out of the taxi and were guided towards the first building. We headed to sign in and to see the first part of the fair.
Ruth pushed me into the entrance, and we were met by two ladies behind a table, who just assumed I was the bride and Ruth was my carer. Assumptions don't get you anywhere! Especially considering that we were both meant to get a goodie bag being brides. Just so you know, they were pretty pants anyway, but that wasn't the point! I told them both of our names and that was Ruth was also a bride that had pre-registered. They finally parted with both bags and we headed to the land of stalls.
It was very overwhelming with all the stall holders jumping into action, to hard sell us something we probably didn't need. There wasn't a single cake in sight... waaaaaah! The first few stalls talked only to me, and I had to make it clear we were both the brides. I found every conversation a bit more painful, and it made my anxiety levels go up a lot.
We finally arrived at a stall for photo booths, and the lady spoke to us both like humans and asked us lots of questions about our big day. I smiled so much that my cheekbones ached. We both realised that a photo booth was very us, and we needed one at our wedding!
The rest of the wedding fair was over two floors. There was a lift up to them, but it was very tight for both of us to fit in, and I struggled to get out and turn the tight angle into each of the rooms. There was also a very nifty door stop that didn't help the access, thanks for the memories Mr Fire Extinguisher! The floors were both quite busy, and being so low down meant not being able to get close to the stalls or look at what was being shown.
We rolled around, with everyone asking about the groom or just assuming I was the only bride with my carer. I was starting to get frustrated with the heteronormative vibe of this wedding fair. I didn't feel very welcome as a lesbian or a disabled woman. Everywhere had dresses (not a single suit to be seen), there were hardly any food vendors (our most important requirement), and how much for a diamond ring?!? I was quite happy to have a pretty pre-owned ring that had its own love story. It was clear our ring journey wouldn't start at this event!
We decided that we'd had enough of being ignored or lost behind people. So, we headed out. I wanted to look at car or van options for arriving at our wedding but gave up very quickly when I discovered, that none of the ones on show were wheelchair accessible. We vowed that we'd have the best budget wedding ever and that we didn't need these fairs to demotivate us. When we got home, the real plans began. Did someone say Tottenham cake?
